I don’t know if I have ever seen one of these lists that drove me more crazy than the AskMen Top 99 Women of 2013. Who did they ask about this? There’s no way the results of this list are the final result of legitimate voting. The list is contrived and pretty much ridiculous. Have the right publicist, hello list.
Here’s how AskMen introduces the list.
Who Are The Most Desirable Women of 2013?
What does it really mean to be a desirable woman? Is it solely about a pretty face or a career accomplishment? Is it about having perfect proportions or about being “wife material”? You answered these questions by voting in our annual Top 99. And judging from your responses and those of our staff, one thing is clear: Desirability isn’t any one of these things, but all of them. You chose women who represent the complete package of beauty, brains, ambition and charm. And we think you chose wisely. From young up-and-comers to Top 99 vets, here are the women who make all our hearts skip a collective beat.
I’ve decide to break-down this list like the Zapruder film. We start with 99-80.
99. Bérénice Marlohe
– We start here with the new Bond Girl. There’s no chance she had enough time or recognition to make a list like this.
98. Kim Kardashian
– I couldn’t be more sick of anyone than Kim Kardashian. She doesn’t even get a picture. My hope is the #98 is an insult on the way out.
97. Charlize Theron
– Can’t argue with this one. Seem low to me, but Charlize seems determined to make everyone forget how hot she really is.
96. Ana Ivanovic
– OK, she’s nice looking and athletic, but this starts my biggest issue with this list. Where the hell is Alex Morgan?
95. Kate Moss
– Fine, I suppose but who is voting for her in this list?
94. Amrita Acharia – I don’t watch Game of Thrones, so not much of a comment.
93. Katie Holmes
– Katie was once upon a time very hot, but she is forever fouled.
91. Rocsi – She is pretty, but who votes for her?
90. Jenna Marbles – Doesn’t belong on a list like this.
89. Aubrey Plaza
– Crazy crazy hot. She will end up keying your car.
88. Shailene Woodley – I am a big fan, she’s very good looking and was awesome in The Descendants.
86. Imogen Poots – I guess
85. Nadezhda Tolokonnikova – Just to get to write about how much I love Pussy Riot.
84. Olivia Thirlby
– No way people knew who she was to vote her into this list.
82. Liu Wen
– No argument, but she’s a bit skinny for my taste.
81. Iggy Azalea – Not sure how she arrived here.
80. Tina Fey
– 80? Crazy, Tina Fey should be toward the top of any list like this.